You're jokes

What do you call a girlfriend in the mirror?

(Your imagination.)

Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!

If you're a simp, just remember, it means "Suckers Idolizing Mediocre Pussy."

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.

Last Christmas, I took a picture of your mom.

It's still printing.

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.

How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?

If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.

Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.

Guy: Robin

Bank owner: Your last name?

Guy: Debank

Bank owner: Robin Debank?

Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!

What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?

"Want me to pack your shit?"

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.

When your uncle drops a nickel, but the only thing he really drops is his pants.

What did the blind man say on Christmas?

"I can feel your presents!"

Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.

If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.

Have you heard the new pickup line in a gay bar?

Can I push your stool in for ya?

You're losing all your friends, but never any calories.

I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."

He said, "What do you want?"

I said, "To be your new father."

"Really??!" the orphan said.

Me: Lol, no.

Orphan *Jumps into street*