You're jokes
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?
A. A homesick abortion.
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.
I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.
Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.
Your hairline is so far back it became a case.
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
If you're bored, punch an orphan, what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?
Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!
Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."