You're jokes

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

Your mum is gay; her name is Rachel.

I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

Are you a fire alarm because you're loud and annoying?

You know the phrase "one man's trash is another man's treasure"?

Great phrase, bad way to find out you're adopted!

Your hairline goes sooooo far back that dinosaurs exist on it.

Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.

When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would it be?

In Afghanistan, it would be "Twelve Years a Slave!" 🤣

Q. What's red and crawls up your leg?

A. A homesick abortion.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.

Your hairline is so far back it became a case.

What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?

They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

What does a woman’s pussy and a chainsaw have in common?

Miss by a few inches and you’re in deep shit.