You're jokes

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I’m sorry you look like my old beat up shoe.

Your hairline is so big, it was used as a highway.

When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.

If your wife has boxes and boxes ending up at your front door from her online shopping habit, tell her that you’ve only had one box through the marriage and that she should be happy.

Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.

On Halloween you better hide your candy, or else there will be a fella named Big Dick Randy.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, 'cause baby, you're the bomb!

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is yours, Facebook will do.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?

Me: Seeing others happy.

Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?

Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.

Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.

Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...

Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?

Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".

A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."

Yo mama got a daughter in a relationship, and I don't have time for you, ASAP, daughter, daughter, or your mother, or your call, or your choice of choice.

Man: How do you prepare your chicken?

Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

My Friend Evan: What happens if the voice inside your head is your soulmate?

Me: Then my soulmate is a F_cking A__hole.

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)