You're jokes
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.
You’re so fine that my zipper is falling for you.
Your mom's my dad. Think about that!
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Your dad is so stupid that when he jumped the fence, the gate was open.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
Knock knock. Who's there? Europe. Europe who? (You're a poo.)
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Mom told me drugs are my enemies.
Jesus said to like your enemies.
Yay, I can like drugs then!
I fucked your girl.
Your mama is so fat that when she ate a burger, she liked it.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
Your disabled joke on you can't stand.
Almost all of you suck. If you're following me, hah, this isn't a joke, but it gave my profile a 1 thingy heheh. KYS, Wade =D
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
When somebody says they're depressed (by over-romanticizing their so-called problems) but can't be by your side when you are at your lowest.
Then you know they're faking depression. 🙂
If you know it, you know it.
Can [I] ask your sister how you are going for Christmas? And [to clarify,] I have internet.
All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.