You're jokes

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

You need to eat makeup on the inside because, friend, you're so ugly and you're not even pretty on the outside.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"

Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.

The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

Do you know Candice?

Nope.

Candice dick fit in your mouth.

Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.