You're jokes
Wanna hear a joke?
Your face.
A man (Ameenya Sheed) texts another man (Bob) and said,
"Hi, I'm Ameenya Sheed."
Bob: "You're not in my shed because I don't have one, but I have a garage. I don't think you're in there."
Your hairline is so far back that it goes all the way across the globe.
The circular saw asked the chainsaw, "When am I as big as you?"
The chainsaw would answer with, "When you cut down some things in your life. Like your owner."
The circular saw would reply with, "What?"
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
People say your body is 75% water, while mine [is] 100% full of coffee.
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
Little Johnny asked the teacher why you were no shirt. Teacher says, "Because I want to." The teacher drops her pencil and picks it up. The class starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" A kid took off your bra, and we see your squish sexy boobs.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.
For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.
The other day I commented a dark humor joke on a post about a guy who lost his best friend. The joke was “I was so drunk last night I threw a mushroom at a midget and said ‘grow mario grow.’” He commented “What the hell is wrong with you?” and I said “IKR I really gotta work on my alcoholic issues.”
He then replied “This is a post about my dead best friend get the fuck off my feed I don’t even know you.” And so I said “Well then get to know me, I could become your new best friend!”
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Guys, don’t suck your own dick, it does not feel like your dick is being sucked, it feels like you're sucking a dick.
Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.
Gays, blacks, and your maw, mate.
What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.
But if you're vegan, you call him food.
If you're poor, you eat the skin.
What color is your Bugatti?