You're jokes
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
You're cheap; no one even pays attention.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
Your forehead so big your thoughts started on a Monday and didn't end 'til Sunday.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend asks, "Where is your girlfriend?"
The guy replies, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week, and you'll find out!"
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."