You're jokes
If I were a judge and gave you a sentence, I would sentence you to life for your looks.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
POV: Orphans rule the world.
God said, "I'm your dad," then kills himself.
The orphan: Waaaaaa!
Three friends go to a water park and meet a genie. "You each get one wish." "When you get to the top of the slide, you shall scream your wish as you go down." The first man went down the slide and screamed "Coca Cola," and the pool was filled with Coca-Cola.
The next ugly-ass looking mf goes down the slide and screams "C-M&Ms" as if he wasnât just about to say cumâthen the pool was full of cuâI mean M&Ms. The last horny-ass bitch is so excited he says "Weee!" Then the pool is full of piss. He was upset the pool wasnât full of dildos./j
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
My I.
May I who?
May I put this pussy on your mouth?
What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?
654-721-8940
(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)
Bro, your forehead so big Dakota's forehead seemed small.
Your forehead is so big, John Cena could wrestle on it.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santaâs sack on it.
How do you enter your house?
Through Bill Gates!
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.