You're jokes
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Your mom is a joke.
You're all gay. HEHEHE!
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
Me and your mom in the bed.
I was about to joke about your life, but I think your life is already a joke.
Your eyebrows could make the bushes outside feel jealous.
How do I make my dick disappear?
I put it in your dad.
Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who's there?
Not your parents!
Little Johnny was in class, and his teacher asked, "How many of you guys are Trump fans?" Since the entire class wanted to be liked by the teacher, they all raised their hands, well, except Little Johnny. So the teacher asks, "Why are you being different again, Johnny?" So Little Johnny says, "Well, because I'm a Democrat. My mom is a Democrat, and my dad is a Democrat, so I'm a Democrat!" So then the teacher responds with, "Well, what if your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?" Well, Little Johnny says, "A Trump fan!"
You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.
Me: Are you an alien?
Friend: No.
Me: Yeah, because you're too ugly to be one.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."
Your mama's so fat, when she asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.