You're jokes
What does your dad's cock and Darryl's Savouries have in common?
I want them both in my mouth!
Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?
A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!
Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].
What's it called when an orphan calls 911?
Operator: Hello, is your family okay?
Orphan: I'm an orphan.
Operator: *bruh*
When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.
Fortnite is so bad that when you try to play, trash is always in your way. LOL
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.
I asked an angel, "How did I die?"
"Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."
Your Nan is dead.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.