You're

You're jokes

Bus Driver

  • I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.

    I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!

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  • Orphan

  • What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

    They cry...

    They scream... with joy.

    "Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

    Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

    Head

  • When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.

    Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?

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  • Surgeon

  • Q: What is the worst thing to hear your surgeon say?

    A: Oops, I dropped my lollipop!

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  • Orphan

  • What's it called when an orphan calls 911?

    Operator: Hello, is your family okay?

    Orphan: I'm an orphan.

    Operator: *bruh*

    Ex

  • When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

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  • Comedian

  • *walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*

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  • Trampoline

  • Last week I felt so high and mighty I thought I could fly. I took one shot, puffed through my pipe, and jumped in the air on a trampoline. I woke up in heaven.

    I asked an angel, "How did I die?"

    "Well, little monkey, you thought your bed was a trampoline and you hit your head. Your mom called the doctor, and the doctor said you were dead."

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