You're jokes
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
Teacher: Can someone tell me the only living thing that can reproduce without sex?
Little Johnny: "Your wife."
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
Would you rather date me or a lady?
I laid deez nuts in your mouth.
My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
Your forehead is sooo big, NASA thought it was Mars!
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
Your hairline is like the universe, still waiting to be discovered.
I saw this kid on the street wearing a rag. I said, "Are you an orphan?" He said, "What gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
"OK, son," he says. "It's as easy as counting to 5."
1. Pull down your pants. 2. Pull back your foreskin. 3. Pee in the toilet. 4. Put your foreskin back. 5. Pull up your pants.
From then on, every time the boy goes to the toilet, he counts from 1 to 5. One day, the father noticed his son was taking quite some time in the toilet. He went to check on him and overheard his son saying, "2,4,2,4,2,4,2,4."
What is the difference between a priest and a zit?
The zit waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
Your hairline is more bent than your gender.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Just letting you know if people cry when they see you, that doesn't mean they miss you. That means they're scared of your onion breath.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."