You jokes
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
What do you call a cow that has been shot?
Holy cow!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
When you go to your girlfriend's house but accidentally go into her dad's room and fuck him anyway.
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
What do you call a cow that sleeps?
A bulldozer! 🐄💤
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
"Knock, knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Cow said."
"Cow said who?"
"Cow says moo you ding dong!"
What goes in and comes out and makes you feel good but isn't sexual?
(Insulin)
What do you call a dog that is part pug, part poodle, and part cup?
A muggle! 🤠🤠🤠🤠🥴
What did one droplet say to the other?
"Water you thinking?"
Do you think the ocean is salty because the beach never waves back?
Why can’t you run in a campground?
Because it’s past tents.
Hey John, how are you going?
Helium, yeah good, what about you?
(Hey Liam)
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.