You jokes
How do you fit 3 gay men on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
The water in the shower evaporates before it reaches you.
What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?
Trick question, emo is a handicap.
How much you wanna bet you will not repeat my name out loud (at school/work)?
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Special forces.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
What's hard and hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? Coconut, what were you thinking of?
What do you call a hippo that lays eggs? A eggoppotimos.
You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)
Never mind. You won't understand.
Why did Jesus come back from the dead? He forgot to tell you that you're gay!
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.
Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶
Roses are red,
I am dead.
You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.
The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.
If a black person calls you a cracker, let them say it. You can say things they can't say, like, "Thanks for the warning, officer!"
What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.
Never gonna give you up.