You jokes

What kind of tree can you High-Five?

A palm tree.

A priest walked in and said to the kids,

"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"

I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.

Is it classed as down under if you eat out an Australian chick?

You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

How do you call Doom guy that drinks Monster Zero? Boom guy!

What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

My dustbin's absolutely full of toadstools!

How do you know it's full?

Because there's not mushroom inside.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

No? Neither did he.

I smell up dog in here.

"What's up, dog?"

Nothing much, how about you?

Your dad has a huge PP.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"

The man told the women, “Roses are red, violets are blue, you suck cock and you enjoy it too.”

Then she said that's true.

Sup guys, how are you?

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist resort?

It's not hard.

So, two people are on a date and the guy says, "Wow, you are so beautiful!"

Then the girl says, "You just want to have sex!"

Then the guy adds, "SMART TO!"

sad sad sad

now you laugh and like

thank you!