You Jokes

Kid

Kid: Dad, where do you work?

Dad: I.C.U.P.

Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.

Pet

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

Pane

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

Fly

What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?

"Would you stop bugging me!"

Ex-wife

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

Train

What do you call a freight train with bubble gum?

A chew-chew train!

Love

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"

Ladder

You’re so short, you must need a ladder to reach your advice and dreams.

Banana

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Banana.

Banana who?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

Shirt

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

Head

What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!

Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.

Tuna

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.