You jokes
You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇
What do you call a fat downie?
A couch potato.
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
me in thanksgiving
What do you get when you cut an onion?
Onion jizz.
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
"Hitler and Goring are standing atop the Berlin radio tower. Hitler says he wants to do something to put a smile on Berliners' faces.
So Goring says: 'Why don't you jump?'"
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
What is the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? You can hang the picture with just one nail.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Hey girl, are you a scientist?
Cause you made my thing into a baking soda volcano.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
He'll have you in "Stitches"!
How do you get a baby in a box? With a blender.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"