You jokes
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
What do you get if you cross a pig and a witch with sand?
A ham sandwich.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family picture.
What are you good at?
Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
Dear algebra,
I don't want to find your X. I don't know Y she left you.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
Admins, if you are seeing this, please look in the comments of https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/5d521e61d3e53a06d27bc361/why-are-you-censoring-my-friend-franz.
I'm sorry.
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
Dogs are better relationship partners than you. Wanna know why? They're loyal, patient, love unconditionally, smart. Traits you clearly lack, you cheating ass bitch.
"Hi, this is Dave's orphanage—you make it, we take it."
A blind woman told her husband someone is coming. He asks how do you know, you can't see. She replies, "I can taste it."
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
You: What do you call a door knob without the lock?
Me: I don't know.
You: Are you sure?
Me: I don't know.
You: Okay.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.