You jokes

You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.

Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”

Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”

Boy: “Yeah, why?”

Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”

What do you get when you cut an onion?

Onion jizz.

You wanna hear an Indian egg joke? (yeah-)

Never mind. You won't understand.

How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.

Sorry for this Pick Up Line.

Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.

I think your hairline might have the hiccups.

Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.

What do you call a gay kid on fire? LGBBQ.

What do you call a sharpened pencil? You call a sharpened pencil a sharpened pencil.

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.

Never gonna give you up.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

No wonder why I can't find you. You're in the trash bin.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

POV: you

Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

The seventh door.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Little old lady.

Little old lady who?

Little old lady, you don't need to yodel about it. Yodel who? Yodel who?

Me: Ice woman diary: a witch's tin key.

Other: What? You said, "I swim in diarrhea, which is stinky?"

I hope next time you ask your teacher to go to the toilet, your teacher says no, but when someone else asks, the teacher says yes to them.

Your hairline went so back, you had to cry to your mama!