You jokes

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

My friend: Wanna hear a joke?

Me: No.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because you are a joke.

Friend: Your life is too...

Me: :)

Friends :)

The kid was a bit sad, so he was blue.

Teacher asked him, "Why are you so blue?"

The kid replied, "I'm not sad."

Teacher said, "No, your face actually blue."

What do you call a wizard who uses Ice Magic? A: A Blizzard!

Okay, good night everyone who has common sense! "Akeld," you did not make it.

What would Earth say if it had a boyfriend?

You need to com-it.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?

Gwen, hi, this is well, I am not saying, are you a girl? I thought you were a girl, but I could be wrong.

You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn't matter, he's not coming.

You're so fat, you don't need internet because you're already worldwide.

Do you know why orphans can't play baseball?

Because they can't find home.

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.

A man and a boy went into a forest. The boy said he was scared. The man said, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."

Your mama so fat that when you were born, yo mama gave you carpet burn.

Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"