You jokes
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
A man goes for a pee in a haunted house.
He unzips his pants at the urinal when a man dressed as a goblin chuckles next to him. "You got a small dick, buddy," the man says to him.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Memes
Person 1: Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Person 2: Yeah.
Person 1: Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!
Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Why you gay, bruh? I know why I'm gay. I got the wolf pack protectors spirit in me, YA BOIIIII!
I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"
(gun shot)
What do you call an orphan's family portrait?
A self-portrait.
If you are disabled and a comedian, is it called stand-down or sit-up?
What do you and Joe Biden have in common?
Nobody loves you or him.
You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?
'Cause then they know they won't die alone.
What did the orphan say to the bowling ball?
"I am orphan!"
"You are bowling ball!"
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
When you fail art school.
I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)