Hi, welcome to Dave's Orphanage, you make 'em, we take 'em!
You Jokes
What did the orphan say when he first played Sims? Dang, you can have a family!
What flavor do you buy an orphan?
Self raising.
When you go to the priest's basement, you will always find the pope's body and his children in the corner of the room.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?
How many times can you subtract ten from one thousand?
One; after that you're subtracting ten from 990.
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
God made me pretty, what happened to you?
I’m still wearing the smile you gave me last week :)
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?
Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Good morning, Gwen, how are you?
You will never have a girlfriend.
Your head so big you can wash a big TV on it!
What do you cross with a cow and a tiger? (mooigter)
— Can I borrow a book [on] how to kill myself?
— Librarian: No, because you won’t bring it back.
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
What do you call a flying pig?
Fiction.
