You jokes
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
Your hairline [is] so bad even your mama left you.
Your hairline is so bad that you have a humongous forehead.
How do you cause an African parade?
You just carry a water bottle around and hold it up!
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
Memes
Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.
Little Johnny says: “Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room that’s been handed down from generation to generation?”
Mom replies: “Yes. What about it?”
He says: “Well, the last generation just dropped it.”
What do you call a person with no body or a nose?
Nobody knows.
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan? Hit them.
It's not like they can tell their parents.
"Rape isn't a joke unless you watch YouTube Kids."
Your balls are so big, when people see you at the market, they think it's watermelon.
A man was on the street and went up to a kid wearing rags. The man asked, "Hey, are you an orphan?"
The kid said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
The man said, "Your parents."
Did you know that Helen Keller had a pet monkey?
No.
Neither did she.
If this pops up on your timeline, fuck you!
My brother: What are you looking at?
Me: A mistake.
Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.
What did one tower say to the other?
Damn, you looking PLANE!
What do you call a blind Nazi?
A Not-See!