You jokes
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
How do you play chess with a Catholic?
You put a condom on the bishop.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What's the best thing about a prostitute dying on you during sex?
The second hour is free.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
What do you call a rapper who's afraid of water?
Lil Drip.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?
MC Bass-Drop.
What did the rapper say to his BROKEN PENCIL?
"You broke the beat!"
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
MC Skillet.
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
A mathematics professor arrived home at 3 am drunk.
His wife was up waiting for him.
"You said you'd be home by 11:45!" she yelled.
He responded, "No my dear, I said I'd be home at a quarter of 12."
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
Did you hear about the roofer who went to the doctor? He had shingles.
Have you ever had a bad sausage? It's the wurst.
How do you get a squirrel's attention? Act like a nut.