You jokes
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
Did you hear about the book about gravity? I couldn’t put it down.
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
A player in Baldi's Basics says, "Why are you bald?"
Baldi responds, "Well, I have cancer."
The player says, "Oh, good for you!"
I had a good night, and I love it when you get a good walk and you get to.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
What did the man say to the girl?
You just milked a cow.
What time is it when you say I can’t walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦼.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
Spell "I C U P." I see you pee.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"