You jokes
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
I have a really good joke.
Do you want to hear it?
Oh wait, this is a bad joke website.
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
My mom showed me that she could deep throat a banana. I asked how you know how to do that. My mom said, "I practice on your stepfather."
How do you make any salad a Caesar salad?
Stab it 23 times!
Wife: I will leave you if you call me fat again.
Husband: Wait, dear... Don’t do it for the sake of our kid!
Wife: Kid?
Husband: Yeah, aren’t you pregnant?
What do you call an 18-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What do you call a priest who became a singer?
Michael Jackson.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.
Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀