You jokes
You guys have very baaaaaaa-d puns!
Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.
Friend: You have to be able to stand up.
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
I’ll never forget my grandpa's last words to me...
“Are you still holding the ladder??”
true
What do you call a pig?
Pig.
How do you make a hormone?
Don't pay her.
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)
Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Answer: A FLAP.
How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.
A man walks in to the doctor.
He says, "Doctor, I need a new butt. Mine has a crack in it."
Doctor: How many times do I have to tell you!!!
What do you call a bunch of wheelchairs on top of one another?
A vegetable rack.
What do you get when you combine a planet and an apple?
Mario.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
Do you like fish sticks?
If you do, you're a gay fish.
VOTING SEMIFINAL 2
LIKE: When the school shooter throws a smoke grenade into the classroom and the autistic kid thinks it’s a Disco party. 🕺🕺🕺
DISLIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
Vote for the better joke.
What do you call a racist community? America.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.