You jokes

Minecraft

  • Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!

    YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.

    And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.

    Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!

    I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.

    I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.

    Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.

    It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...

    END!

    Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!

    Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!

    Axe it's head, axe it's head.

    Axe it's head, defeat him.

    SUBSCRIBE!!!

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  • Depression

  • Business Interview With Depression Inside my brain...

    Me: So... You're new? Depression: (I don't know who he is yet) mHMMMmmm! Me: Well what are your skills? Depression: Oh, taking control and leading... You know... Me: What are you trying out for? Depression: Oh, Vice Leader of Negative Thoughts. Me: Well we do need someone over there- for somewhat reason nobody wanted that job... Me: How did you know about us? Depression: Oh- I knew because of Anxiety, you know, we're friends! Me: Interesting... (Still has no idea about Anxiety and it's problemos) Me: Well I think you're signed up! I'll give you the job! Depression: tHaNKS :)

    AND THATS HOW MY LIFE GOT DESTROYED :]

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  • Sleep

  • What is a good night's sleep and what do I have for you?

    Walk home from home and walk walk home and get a good night and night sleep good day today and walk home and walk walk home and take care and walk walk home 🏠 was good fun night night I had dinner 🍽 night night love 💗

    Genie

  • A man walks into a bar and places a 12-inch man onto the counter as well as a small piano. The 12-inch man starts playing the piano really well.

    The bartender asks the man where he got the 12-inch man. The man says there is a genie two blocks around the corner.

    The bartender runs to the genie and makes a wish. The bartender comes back with 1 million ducks. The bartender says to the man, "That genie is dumb! I asked for 1 million bucks."

    The man says, "Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?"

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  • Michael Jackson

  • Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys' underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.

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  • Trump fan

  • The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."

    Pistol

  • Me: How does this thing work?

    ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.

    ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*

    Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.

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  • Fridge

  • 20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

    How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

    3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

    Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

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  • Wine

  • I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note, “I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pocket.” I wrote back, “Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”

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  • Porn

  • My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"

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  • Math class

  • Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

    Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

    Depression

  • My friends: Ugh, why are you so lazy and no fun?

    My parents: Why can't you be like your siblings?

    My teacher: I don't care if you're depressed, focus on your study!

    The songs: We understand you :)

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