You jokes
Spell "I C U P." I see you pee.
Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.
How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?
Your hairline is so bad when I looked at you, I had to use accessibility.
You're an orphan and blind. You have cancer. You will die in 3 days. Merry Xmas!
What do you call onions and beans?
Tear gas.
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
Hi, my name isn't Pi.
Look up at the sky and wonder why.
Why are you alive?
Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.
I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...
Little Timmy said, "I had a body, eieio, now you are next!" as he shoots you.
You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?
Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?
You: Uhhhhhhh
Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.
You: Thank God.
Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...
You: *faints*
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special Forces!! HAHAHA
If cancer was a person I’d shake their hand and say: "Thank you for your service."
Sorry if it’s too far, but don’t come here if you can’t take it.
When you put the chicken in the oven, it goes down, and the oven explodes. The oven and smoke and everything is fire and on fire and flies to the grass, and all goes back.
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
Ever heard the saying white people can’t jump??
Well, I think that’s total bullshit. You should have seen us on 9/11!
Me: Hey, wanna know my spirit animal?
Friend: Sure.
Me: Roadkill, because I can see my mom pretty clearly now.
Friend: Wait, aren't you dead?
Me: Aren't you my son?
Friend: So that's what Mom was trying to hide from me.
What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”
Reply back with “Because you were born.”
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.