You jokes

When you have a box of dead babies in your garage and one of them is alive at the bottom and has to eat its way out but goes back for seconds.

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

You were born on the freeway, you know why?

Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈

What do you call an STD?

Elenji.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.

Did you walk up Stephen Hawking's drive?

Don’t worry, he didn’t either.

You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.

My life.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Knock, knock." "Knock, knock who?" "Can you let me in now?"

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

What do you call a gay retard? Fruit and vegetable soup.

You text someone to ask them why they snobbed you. Then they snob you again.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

What do you call a fat downie?

A couch potato.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?

Roberto!

Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."

What do you say to a black midget?

Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.