You jokes
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
What can you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing that you haven't told her twice already.
You meet the guy who invented 0, what do you tell him? Thanks for nothing!
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Your hairline legit looks like the Himalayan mountain range, except you need binoculars to find it.
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.
Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡
Have you heard about the pedophile who was found guilty of robbery?
- He robbed children of their innocence.
What do you think would fall to the ground first, an emo kid or a leaf?
The leaf. The rope would stop the emo kid.
What's the difference between a plane and a woman?
At least the plane doesn't give you herpes when it crashes at your place.
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
How do you say “Yes, you look good” in Spanish?
– Sí...
See deez nuts!
Person: You're so ugly.
Me: You ugly.
Person: I'm not a mirror.
Me: And I'm not your reflection.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Fourth of April.
Fourth of April who?
May the fourth be with you!
How can you tell when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's knob tastes funny.
This is not a joke. Have you ever thought about it? You’re an emo while wearing black. So what if you are black? Does that mean you’re an emo because you are black and emos wear black? ;)
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?" "Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?