You jokes
You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
it all makes sense now 😮😮😮
You should always be happy about family and love.
Whenever you see an orphan taking a selfie, photo bomb him and say, "Family photo!"
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Kalyn: Mrs. Frizzle,
Mrs. Frizzle: Sure.
Kalyn: Can you spell I-C-U-P for me?
Mrs. Frizzle: Shut up, you little fucktard!
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
My bf: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
My bf: Ice cream.
Me: Ice cream who?
My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.
What is the difference between you and my dad?
Nothing.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?
Your camera.