You jokes

You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.

Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.

What is the difference between you and my dad?

Nothing.

Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.

What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing. They just waved.

Did you sea what I did there?

[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?

What do you call a broken chicken?

A broken chicken.

What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?

"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"

What do you call a cow with no leg?

What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?

One does not crow when you put it in an oven.

Did you hear that Uranus is cracked?

You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Why did the cake say to the scammer? "I'll scam you up!"

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?

Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.

Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.

"Korn Kob Kyle??? You know what this means!"

yikes...

#PlugWalk

A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"

He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"

If you are on here, don’t hate. There will be rude ones, but it doesn’t matter.

Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.