You jokes

To Gwen and Freshfry: Hi Gwen and Freshfry, you have been so amazing to me and now to my sister. You are the people who I look up to. People are mean to us because I am adopted. Thank you for all of your support!

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

Why shouldn't you say "I hate you" to your parents?

Ask an orphan.

People, when your lover cheats on you, do this!

1. Start a conversation. 2. Say, "What's that smell?" 3. They will smell around. 4. Say, "OMG, it's a b****," and walk away and ignore them.

I went to a depressed person and said, "Do you wanna hang with me?"

Yo mama, why do you have to jump in the pool as soon as I can find the water on Mario? I mean, Mario jump to Mars!

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

What do you think about the game "Fortnite?"

Shit.

When you were born, your mom said you were out of bounds, so you went flying out of the hospital.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"

"PENIS WAIT WHAT OENIS SUCK MINE DADDY?" Sorry, you are an orphan.

1. Are you talking to me because I think you talked to my backside?

2. Your mom must taste good because it is always in your mouth.

3. My foot lasts longer than your life.

The moment when you're too depressed to fantasize about death--it's so tiring.

Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.

If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. There's usually 90 degrees.

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?