You jokes
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well." My brother said, "You want a sugar cookie?"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?
Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.
What do you call a gay French man?
A faguette!
Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.
Like this if you think orphans are cool!
Fuck you
POV: You're sitting here waiting for a good joke. I wait, unfulfilled.
You know the stupid trend where people say it’s ok to be overly obese? Healthy even? That you should take pride in it? Which idiots started that movement?
Well. We know one thing for sure. They were obviously members of a wider community.
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is.
She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.”
“But mom, I’m blind!” says the kid.
“Exactly,” replied the mom.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.
What are the odds of you being in a relationship that is going on in the next few months?
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Me: Looks like a girl, sure as h3ll I don't sound like one.
Michael Jackson: Looks like a boy, sure as h3ll don't sound like one.
That [is] what we have i[n] commen, but if you mix up my gender I won't give a F about it. Michael Jackson not so much : )
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
What do you call a black astronaut? A black astronaut, you racist.
You're so skinny you never gain weight. You're so skinny you're a thin stick.