You jokes

What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.

What do you call a cow that's laying down? Ground Beef.

You and your mom.

What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt.

Did you know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders all over the windshield.

What do you call a vegan cow?

A vegan cow. :/

OR

A regular cow. 🐄🙌

R.I.P. boiled water. You will be mist.

Charizarding.

When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"

One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.

What's the difference between a baby and a ball?

If you inflate the ball, it won't explode.

Hey, can you hold this for a second?

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.

How do you make antifreeze?

You steal her blanket.

A kid with hallucinations and cancer is on a Jeopardy game show.

"What's behind curtain #1... YOU HAVE WON..... CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I see that you start work at 9am, but your hairline starts at 9:15am.

A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.

If you cut off your head, you can't breathe.

You also can't breathe if you die.

So why isn't it debreathiation?

How do you know if a homophobic woman that is a Christian nationalist and Catholic is poor enough she would be desperate enough to do anything to pay her bills?

she would be willing to perform anilingus and cunnilingus on women regardless of their sexual orientation in the LGBT community.

What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.

After a long labor, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first, doctor.”

The doctor replies, “Well, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair.”

Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother’s face. “Doctor, if that’s the bad news, what’s the good news?” The doctor replies, “He’s dead.”

What do you call a retarded cow?

Vegan (vegetable).