If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
You Jokes
What do you call a swearing piece of shit?
Cus-turd.
A man went to a library and asked the librarian if they had any books on suicide.
She replied "Oh fuck off, you won't bring it back!"
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
Pete the panther was racing a cheetah but lost. The cheetah said, "You can’t beat me, I’m a cheetah." Pete said, "Yeah, you are a cheetah cheetah."
It's not a hate crime if you don't hate the person.
You will never see a redneck opposing a war.
He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"
What do you call an autistic army special forces?
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.
It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-
Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?
Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.
Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?
You smell!
Smoking will kill you.
Bacon will kill you.
But, smoking bacon will cure it!
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
Bully: Ur momma so fat that the whales said we are family even though you are a little bigger than us.
Nerd: Yo momma so ugly that when she went in the bathtub, the water jumped out.
Silence...................punch!
What do you call a pool full of black kids? Baths bomb.
How do you turn a hairy man into a feminist?
Just take out his brain and there you go!
You're so skinny, you can hula-hoop with Fruit Loops!
