You jokes

Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?

Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.

I did a walk today and had fun. Today, I did not have to go get my kids and get to my new house. 🏠 It was a good day. I had fun. I did a walk today. I had fun today, but I’m going to be at the car 🚘 when I’m at my car. 🚘 What time was your night time? What time did [you go to bed]?

Me and my brother talking about relationships.

Me: We live kind of differently.

Brother: We're sort of alike.

Me: We're not alike.

Brother, because he's taken: 'Cause you don't have a boyfriend!

My thoughts: You're right. 'Cause I have a girlfriend!

What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...

If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.

Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.

Blonde 1: Omg! Yesterday, I fucked a Brazilian!

Blonde 2: OMG YOU SLUT

Also Blonde 2: Wait, how much is a Brazilian?

I think I gave you the coronavirus because I can't stop staring, a-choo!

Hi, how are you? Busy, busy today and tomorrow. I have to go home from home and walk home. Walk and a bike. Walk, walk, and a bike to school tomorrow night. I have to have lunch with my mom and dad, and I have dinner with you tonight.

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?

Wife: Honey, I love you.

Husband: I love you all.

Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!

What did the cell say when it was dividing?

"It's not you, it's me."

What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.

I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.

Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.