You jokes
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a prostitute?
The look they give you while you’re nailing them.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
Hey Gwen... I had a friend named Gwen in preschool.
The preschool was Cascade Christian and in Washington (which is close to Oregon. I read in a chat that you live there.) This is a long shot, but I think you might be the same Gwen. If not, ok.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.
My childhood tormentor was at school. I walked through so I could get to class.
And then he said, "Hey, you donkey!"
I said, "Thank you, I'm so happy that I'm something, not nothing like you!" And I gave him a pink lollipop. He walked off. And I became popular. Or should I say, Lolli-Popular? Sorry.
Q: Do you know why transgender people are good at being carpenters?
A: Because they have more experience cutting off their wood.
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family photo.
Women be like men should pay for first dates, then get mad when you do...
Mom: Can I tell you a joke?
Kid: Sure.
Mom: Knock knock.
Kid: Who's there?
Mom: Not yo.
Kid: Not yo who?
Mom: Not yo father.
Kid: Not yo husband either.
Do you know what the equivalent to hell is these days?
1. Listening to your teacher.
2. Not having your phone/game/TV.
3. Not having nicotine.
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
What do you call a hill with cows on it?
A Moo-ntain.
Are you guys alright?
If you answered yes then you are wrong. You are all LEFT. Kill me, hmph.
(This joke was taken from that none funny b*tch on Britain's Got Talent)
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
What time is it when you get home? Can you walk walk and a car and get home and get a walk home and get a dog 🐕? Today is the night I can drive.
What do you call a closet with two lesbians inside?
A liquor cabinet.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
I don’t know.
To get to the idiot house.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
The chicken.