You jokes

I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

What time is it when you get home? Can you walk home from school today?

You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.

Do you love water?

Then you love 75% of me!

What do you call a fish with no parents?

An orfin.

Some dude: Water you thinking?

Me: You're drowning in my head.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?

There was nothing left but de Brie!

I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.

Did you hear about the Mormons?

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it.

How do you know someone is fucking dumb?

They put jokes that have been used several times already.

Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.

I don't have any friends.

If you like this, I can be your friend :)

What do you call a sad Doge?

What?

Nothing but Sarrrooooddd!

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Because it has a silent “p.”

What time is it when you can smell smoke inside?

Time to get outside!

What do you call a wingless fly?

A walk!