You jokes
I hope you have to squeeze the hell out of toothpaste only for the little bit to fall down the sink drain.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
(Answer) Ground beef.
Sorry for a bad joke.
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.
To the guy in a wheelchair who stole my camouflage coat: you can hide, but you can't run.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You make them clap until their parents come home.
Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.
Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?
3 minutes later:
Why didn't I listen to the strong one?
What's one advantage of being an orphan?
Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚
What’s the difference between a normal kid and an Emo?
When you feel an Emo's arm, there’s lots of texture! Feels great, too!
If Will Smith had a revolver and said, "Who fucked my wife?" Chris Rock would say, "You don't have enough bullets, mate."
If you call the number 800-273-8500 in Afghanistan, they say, "Can you fly a plane?"
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
What's the difference between you and Frankenstein?
He is not ugly like you; plus, he has a wife.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
You know they're lying when they say, "My mom's picking me up."
What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?
You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.
What do you call 6 gay men having a fight?
Rainbow Six Siege
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!