You jokes

How do you get a hippy pregnant?

Cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

First date be like:

Me: "I work with animals every day."

Her: "Oh, how sweet! What is it exactly that you do with them?"

Me: "I'm a butcher."

One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.

She asked me, "What are you doing?"

I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."

She asked, "What does that mean?"

I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

Whoever stole my anti-depression medications, I hope you're happy!

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?

Because he punched dumbos like you people!

Me: Do you like smash?

Friend: Smash Rolls?

Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!

Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)

What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?

Stephen Hawking.

When I saw you, it instantly made me cry. LOL.

My Crandall just be smashing more than you ON DA GIRLS, and he was slapping your girl last night harder than WILL at the OSCARS! ;)

My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.

(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)