You jokes
What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"
That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
You say Alex Jones, I say Alex moans mmmmm. I like that fat, tasty big boy and his Rolex watches, mummy, he turns me on!
Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?
He was actually quite funny...
He just blew the delivery.
(I'll show myself out).
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Pedophile: You dropped your candy.
Girl: Thanks!
Pedophile stares as she slowly bends over to pick up her candy.
Pedophile: It looks a bit dirty, do you wanna come back to my house and get a new one?
Girl: How far is your house?
Pedophile: It's that white one right over there.
Girl: You mean that van next to a dumpster?
Pedophile: Yep, it's that one.
Girl:.... Sure! :P
Audience:.........Dumbass girl.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
My girlfriend is like treasure to me.
You need a shovel to find her.
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
Like if you know someone emo.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Q: How do you know if a gang of Chinese people robbed your house?
A: All the rice is gone.
What do you call a man who plays Fortnite 24/7?
A: A virgin.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
You know why I don't buy Velcro items anymore? They are a total rip off.
Q: Do you know the quadratic formula?
A: Duhhh!
Comment: Then solve it!
Formula: -b ± √(b2 - 4ac) / 2a