You jokes
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
Bro, I gotta tell you a joke.
Nevermind, it's too cheesy!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Yo mama's so stupid, when thieves broke into her house and stole the TV, she chased after them shouting, "Wait, you forgot the remote!"
What's a bonus of being an orphan?
You can't get homework.
What do you call a terrorist in a bathtub?
Bathbomb.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
What do you call a terrorist swimming?
A bath bomb!
How do you kill a spider?
Just get an autistic person.
Me: If my face looked like yours, I would sue my parents.
Sensei: That’s funny, because when your parents dropped you off at the temple, they got a fine for littering.
Cop: Hehe, that’s funny because I gave them the fine!
Are you Shane Dawson?
Because I can be your pussy.
What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
"I work with animals," the guy says to his Tinder date.
"That's so sweet," she replies. "I like a man who loves animals. Where do you work?"
"I'm a butcher," he says.