You jokes

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

What do you say when the toilet is clogged?

Oh shit!

Q: How can you spell cold with two letters? A: IC (icy).

Q: What state is surrounded by the most water? A: Hawaii (this is really just a trick riddle).

Q: David's father had three sons: Snap, Crackle, and what's the third son's name? A: David.

They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.

Teacher: How many kids are in this classroom?

Kid: 73 if you count the ones you have hid in the basement.

What do you call a group of depressed kids?

A suicide squad.

What do you call a funny drink?

Punch!

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

Do you want to hear a joke?

Never mind, it’s too punny.

Welcome to Mississippi.

Hahaha, you have no PP!

Have you ever noticed when a woman is pregnant all her friends touch her stomach and say “congrats,” but none of them touch the man’s penis and say “well done?”

Repost

Why can't your nose be twelve inches?

Because then it would be a foot.

Mom: It's time for sleep.

Baby: Is that what you think, huh?

Mom: *gives baby pacifier*

Baby: Nice try, hobo.

Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.

*few hours later*

Baby: *still awake*

Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!

Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Rearrange the furniture.