You jokes

What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?

Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!

Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

Me: (Tim) What's wrong?

Him: Wha...

Me: Are you inTIMidated?

Why is there no open hunting season on hippies?

Have you ever tried to clean one?

Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?

She called for a price check.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?

Yeah, neither has he!

What do you call a dick playing badminton?

A shuttlecock.

Never eat more than you can lift.

What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!

What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?

You don’t need consent.

How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.

How do you know if an Asian has broken into your house?

Your dog is gone. ;)

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Most of the people here: That's not funny, lots of people died.

Bruh, why are you in here if you can't take a joke?

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Doctor Seuss break up lines:

"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."

A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"

And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."

If you go broke, you could always rent parking garages on your huge ass forehead.