You jokes
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
What do you call a selfie that an orphan takes?
A family picture.
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?
A BUNny.
Knock, knock.
You suck my iron with you and mommy.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
What do you call a suspicious dog?
A sussy bark-er.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
A: A mud slide.
I broke my arm in two places. You know what the doctor told me? Stay out of those places!
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!
What is an oven that you don’t own? Nacho oven.
What's the difference between sex and gender?
You can't have gender with your sister.
Your mama is so fat, she needs two phones to take a picture of herself.
What do you call the door that is cute and adorable?
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.