Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?
You keep the tradition of hitting black things.
You Jokes
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
Hum, women still bruh.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Father talks to his 5-year-old son: “No, Petie, you don’t have to worry. There is no monster sleeping under your bed. It sleeps every day in the bed next to me.”
What do you call a paraplegic stuck in a tower?
In trouble!
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Have you heard of the show Naked and Afraid?
That's what I call hide and seek with my uncle.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
What do you call an orphan’s family reunion?
Me time.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Did you know that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.
A pedophile and a priest run a race.
You can’t beat yourself in a race!
