You jokes
What do you call a lesbian alien? A "lesbeening."
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
What do you call a door that's a man? A door, man.
What do you call an emo a cappella group?
Self harmony.
What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?
Splattered.
Guys, do not follow Tom, he is super inappropriate. I did a 48-hour face reveal and this is what he said:
Tom 13 minutes ago Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ur so cute I wanna fuck your pussy so hard you look amazing I luv ur face come have sex with me mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
So... here's da scoop, alright... *licks KFC off lips* so, I was caught having sex wit three 6 year olds (girls btw, just in case you guys get mad) and da judge told me I was getting da death penalty, you know what I mean?
I had a last resort to save myself though, you feel me? So I told da judge, I said to him, I said: "Yo honah, 6 + 6 + 6 = 18, you smell me?"
Needless to say, I was announced a fre-e-e-e-e-e-e man after dat, you feel me?
But then, the Predator Poachers nigckas just barged into the courtroom and they said: 4 + 4 + 5 = 13!
Alas, I'm writing this joke from jail, and judging by the look my prisonmate Tyrone is giving me, I'll be writing jokes from hell from now on.
I was going to tell a time traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
Why are people disappointments? Because you are reading this.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
best friend makes 9/11 joke.
you: "hey, my dad was inside the tower."
best friend: "I'm sorry."
you: "I always knew he was a great pilot."
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
1. Your face is so ugly, I thought it was deformed. It probably was anyways.
2. Even if Donald Trump had time to build a wall, it was probably so you won't squish us with your fatass.
If someone says your face is deformed, just say that's what happens when I look at you.
Welcome.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
Why do sisters hate you?
Because you're their favorite stepbrother :P
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
My gf told me she was pregnant. So I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me "Why the hell did you do that?!?!?" "I wanted to let you know I'm pro abortion."
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.