You jokes
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!
Do you know who Helen Keller is?
Neither did she.
What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?
Answer: Your right elbow.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...
Would you help him jack off the horse?
Neona (😞): Are you mad at me?
Gwen (😌): Me? NEVER! Sometimes we listen and don't listen, let's just hug it out!
Neona (😁): Agreed!
i keep asking explain bear to make me welcome since im new but why dont you
What do you do when you finish a magazine in school?
Answer: You shoot it!
Me: Yo wanna play 9/11?
My Friend: What’s that?
Me: It’s a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
I hate you.
I hate you who?
You hate me?? Rude!
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
What happens when you hear about Mary Brittain beating a Thomas?
You cook spaghetti with his blood!
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.