You jokes

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Why is basketball called basketball?

Because you play with a basket.

I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Q: What do you call an emo business? A: A cutting board.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.

When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

When you get injured 😢

When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩

How do you call a mirror and an orphan?

Family reunion.

When you ask an orphan to come over:

Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"

Orphan: "Yeah, sure."

Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."

Do you know what the "f" in "orphan" stands for? Family. Oh wait, there is no "f."

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Children and your meat are actually quite similar.

At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie with Batman?

Two family reunions!

You look pretty today... April Fools!

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll-up.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.