You jokes
Roses are red and violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the third one's for you.
How do you surprise a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
You call it a school shooting.
I call it an unfair shootout.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.
Can you imagine what was the last thing that went through their brains?
The knee caps.
You might think that tigers or lions are the best jumpers, but in my opinion, it's emos, because some of them are still in the air.
You got the whole crowd of people laughing when looking at you.
That face needing some laughing pills.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
What do you say to the USA after 9/11? Checkmate.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
Some of you need to go to church. I don't want you in hell with me.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.