You jokes
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
What does the door say to the doorbell?
The door said: "You dingus!"
A farmer walks into his bedroom with his wife in bed with a sheep under his arm and says, "This is the pig I'm fucking." She says, "You idiot, that's a sheep!" He says, "Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
You suck harder than a vacuum ever will :)
A farmer artificially impregnated a cow. The cow said to another cow, "It's a miracle, I'm pregnant." The other cow said, "That's impossible, it's only us cows in the field, you must be joking." The first cow said, "Nope, I'm serious... no bull!"
My friend playing truth or dare asked me: "Dare".
My friends: "I dare you to go home."
Q: What do you call a gay cowboy?
A: A jolly rancher.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
"Ow! You hit the spot!"
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
You must be a Charmander. Because you’re making me hot.
Pokemon.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.