You jokes

"Ring Ring! Hi, I've been needing to call you. Your hairline has been found by Dora after 25 years!"

Did you know that Stephen Hawking's death was an accident because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep mode?"

What do you call a terrorist on a wheelchair?

C4.

Have you heard the 9/11 joke yet?... It was pretty fire.

You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Did you hear that song about 9/11? It was a real banger!

Have you ever seen the Pokemon called Ryh... Rhydon these nuts?

You call it a school shooting.

I call it an unfair shootout.

A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.

The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"

Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"

Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"

If you are going to bully anyone, then bully an orphan, because what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Did you see that car crash today where the guy got the entire left side of his body cut off?

He's all right now.

You have to be a good mom to be a MILF.

The youngest of the Twin Towers said, "Goodbye, brotha." But the one who got hit, which is the oldest, said, "If I go down, you go with me!"

What do you call a Mexican who lost their car?

Carlos.

Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."

Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.

What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.