You jokes

Hope the towers are doing well this morning, and I'll get back to you!

What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?

Getting neck!

Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."

Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

What do you call a deer that has no eyes?

No eye deer.

Hell you fuck, bitch, dick!

Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.

What do you call a deaf person?

Whatever you want!

It's kinda sad seeing you attempt to put your whole vocabulary in one sentence. Oh wait, you only said three words.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."

Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?

He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.

What do you call a genderless child?

It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.

What do you call a scared cow?

A COW-ard.

Some guy asked me, "Are you better than my meat?" I said, "No, I'm not better, I just beat it all the time."

What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.