You jokes

They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.

One person said you are much more beautiful than Cinderella. The next day, you're in court and Cinderella is the witness.

(P.S. she was born to be a drama queen.)

How do you make an emo jump? Tell him to go to the roof.

Would you like some wine with those French cries?

Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.

When you realize your friend standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does.

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.

Hii! Oh my gosh. It has been forever! How have you guys been? Comment your favorite movie!!!! <3

Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.

Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?

Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.

Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?

Orphan: About 200 years.

Hey I have a joke for you.

My life hahah. I wanna die.

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?

How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.

What do you call an orphan's family tree?

A stump.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and a cow?

You can't milk the same cow for 15 years.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.

What do guns and gum have in common?

When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.