You jokes

What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.

What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?

Stop horsing around!

Have you ever walked into Jason Fraser’s house?

Neither has he.

What do you call a thirsty girl?

An H2Hoe.

Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.

If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.

You have been accused of stealing toilet rolls. How do you plead?

Guilty or not guilty?

I don't really trust the press. Sometimes they wear badges that say "press," but if you press those badges, they just fall over, all surprised.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.

I see a dreamer.

It's tricky when you're both a moth and a sea captain in charge of a ship, but up ahead, you see a lighthouse.

I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed my friend who was on LSD. "I See a Dreamer."

I have the best joke:

"You."

I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.

How do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!

Someone said to me when it was winter it[’]s time for you to “chill out.” I was like 👁👄👁

Are you my friend?

Because I would make you more than that.

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.