You jokes
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
My sister bet me $100 that it was impossible for me to build a working car out of spaghetti.
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta!
What do you call Joe from Family Guy in an electric wheelchair?
RoboCop.
I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"
Why can't you get water in the North Pole?
Because there is no well.
Memes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Hi, how are you?
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
What do you call a door that bells? A doorbell.
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
Troll your friend by saying "I" and saying "cup," and then tell them that that means "I see you pee."
LOL
There is also "lettuce cup," which means "let us see you pee."
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What do you call it when a man named Ned works at Panera Bread?
Panera Ned.
I'm on a roll with my jokes, right now!
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
You're so poor that you can't pay for a public school.
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
Your money, you bully's everything you hate.
If you're pro-life, I hope you get hit by a bus today!