You jokes
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Leaf. “Leaf” who? Leaf my house, or else you will regret it. You don’t live here, you dumb idiot! ?!
Hi, how are you?
What did the calculator say to his friends? “You can count on me!”
Your hairline's so far back that Usain Bolt had to run 50 miles away from you!
Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
Who would've known?
Peter: *curses* Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Peter: Ha, joke’s on you! I don’t have a mother.
Tony, having a heart attack: ASFJDHJWNSGREGEJDHFWVWHUSYSG PETER, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quote Of The Day: Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.
Love you guys, and hope today was amazing!
Peace out! <3
What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.
Doesn't having depersonalization mean that you're like the animatronics off of FNAF/Five Nights at Freddy's?
(If you don't know what depersonalization is, look it up.)
What did the plane say to the twin towers?
"Lmao, you twins don't know how to play Jenga. Here, let me show you how!" (BOOM) ;)
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
What do you call a blind German? A not-see Nazi.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Just buy emo grass, then you will never have to mow your lawn again.