You jokes
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
Michael J. Fox walks into an ice cream parlor.
The man behind the counter asks Michael, "Can I help you?"
Michael exclaims, "I would like an ice cream."
The man behind the counter asks, "What flavor?"
Michael says, "It doesn't matter what flavor, I'm gonna fucken drop it anyway."
What's the difference between a blowjob and cough syrup?
They can both give you relief and make you gag at the same time.
If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
How do you scare a lot of people in New York?
Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."
Bye, I'm Paul Badman. Did you know that you don't have rights? The Articles of Confederation say you don't, and so do I. I believe that until proven innocent, every woman, man, and adult in this country is guilty. And that's why I don't fight for you, Santa Fe!
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? They don't know where home is.
What happens when you have a bladder infection? You're in trouble!
Why can't you say hi to a drug addict?
They'll say "yea."
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?