You jokes
If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?
You're so ugly when a pig saw you, he said, "Yes, my brother is back."
What do you call a deer with good eyes?
Good ideas.
What do you call a pedo with no legs? A creepy crawly.
What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.
Memes
Wife: [Looks] in the mirror. Wife: I look fat, can you say something positive? Husband: At least your eyes work.
What’s the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Your hairline is gone because you never bathed or brushed.
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.
Billy: Hey kid, why are you sad?
Orphan: Oh, I'm waiting for my parents.
Billy: Oh, and how long have you been here?
Orphan: About 200 years.
What is the difference between a suicidal person and you?
None, you are both dead on the inside. Lol.
Hey I have a joke for you.
My life hahah. I wanna die.
What do you call a group of emos? The suicide squad.
How do you end an argument with an emo? Kick the chair.
What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Your hairline is so far back that I didn’t know you had a hairline.