You jokes
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Guy: "My life is like a game, I should end it."
Guy 2: "Is it a hard life?"
Guy: "Yup"
Guy 2: "Then you can't kill yourself LOL"
Guy 3: "Hold on, I know a cheat code to finish the 'game'"
Once again, RIP Daniel Kyre, he actually died this day five years ago.
He attempted suicide Sep 16, and was in life support, till his parents made the tough decision of taking him off.
We will miss ya bud..... (cyndagoooooooo)
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A vanilla shake.
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
What do you call disabled people in a hot tub? -- Vegetable soup.
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
I respect cancer more than I respect depression.
At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
God creating cats.
GOD: Make the most fluffy cute thing you can think of.
ANGEL: Ok.......................................anything else?
GOD: YES, PUT RAZOR BLADES ON ITS FEET!!!!!!!!
If you were on the Titanic and you didn't leave the ship, what would you do? Just let that sink in.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedo have in common?
Are you ready, kids?🤣
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.