You jokes

Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.

Son (in a happy tone): I know.

Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?

Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.

What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?

A colonoscopy.

What's the difference between parents and depression? At least one of them leaves you.

What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?

CUMedy.

What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass.

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just WAVED. Can you SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Why are you so SALTY? Don't be a BEACH.

Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.

I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

Roses are red, violets are blue, You think violets are blue, what the hell is wrong with you?

Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."

Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"

Patient: "What condition?"

A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."

How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?

Kick his sister's jaw.

You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.

It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".

If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.

Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.

What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?

A cock sucker.

How can you tell when a cabbage is boiled?

The wheelchair floats to the top.

Friend says, "You were so drunk last night, you threw a mushroom at a midget and said, 'Grow, Mario, grow.'"

Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.