You jokes
Why would Tommy kill Philza's wife just to make Phil believe she didn't exist?
LIKE AND SUB IF YOU LI/j
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression f**ks you harder.
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
How do you call a sad coffee? A depresso!
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
If you're happy and you know it, f*** your mom.
Roses are red, violets are blue, you know what else is violent? Suicide with me and you.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
Child: Hello, I can’t find my dad.
Stranger: Oh, well when and where did you last see him?
Child: Oh, I remember, 5 years ago he went to get some milk here.
"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]
"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]
"How much have you found so far?"
"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]
Me: How does this thing work?
ForTnite kid: Oh, you don’t know how to use a pistol? Look, I’ll show you.
ForTnitekid: *shoots foot*
Me: That wasn’t a very good demonstration.
Your forehead's so big that you dream in 4k.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to single.
I fight with my parents, but you don't see me change my status to "Orphan."