You jokes
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
Disabled man stands up.
Blind man: “You can stand?”
Deaf man: “You can see?”
Mute man: “You can hear?”
Disabled man: “You can talk?”
Doctor: “What the actual fuck?”
Other doctor: “FUCK THIS, I QUIT!”
Memes
You. Me. Gas Station.
I will never forget my mother and father's last words.
"Where the Sam hell did you get a grenade?"
I would tell you a joke about my dink, but it's too long.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?