You jokes

What do you call a Terrorist in a wheel chair?

RCXD in bound

You look so pretty. Not at all gross today.

What do you call an orphan’s picture?

A family photo.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Person: You're so ugly.

Me: You ugly.

Person: I'm not a mirror.

Me: And I'm not your reflection.

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

Suck its cock.

I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

If you take an emo kid grocery shopping.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

When you step on the scales, it says "to be confined."

What do you say to a person who got his whole left side cut off? "Are you all right?!"

I’d roast you, but your mirror does that for me every day.

What did one butt cheek say to the other butt cheek?... You crack me up.

What do you call a person with 2 black eyes?

Nothing, you told them twice.

You know what the difference between Kobe Bryant and Russell Westbrook is?

He wears 0 and Kobe has 0 lives left.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

A-lick-a-lot-of-puss.

Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.