You jokes

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Do you know why Daddy never comes back to get the milk? Because he’s the milkman.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

POV: 11:07 PM At night, reading these when you notice that, like everyone else, you have no life.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?

You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

What do you call a swimming terrorist? A bath bomb.

Are you a bullet? 'Cause you're stuck in my head.

Prince, I love you very much! Happy anniversary! Love you! ❤️❤️😘

When my mom asks, "If your friend pays you to jump off a bridge, would you do it?" I say, "No, Mom... I'd do it for free!"

Why can't you make fun of a bunny's head?

Because they have a hare-line.

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

On the first day of school, the teacher asked a student, "What are your parent's names?"

The student replied, "My father's name is Laughing and my mother's name is Smiling."

The teacher said, "Are you kidding?"

The student said, "No, Kidding is my brother, I am Joking."

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’d never play a country song backwards for you!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends how hard you can throw.

"Freshfry, please leave me and prince alone! I never asked you to join our chat!"

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

What do you call a plate that lies? Dish-onest!

What do you give a pig when it has a rash?

Oinkment.