You jokes
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
They say making and having friends comes with some benefits. I guess you could say I have friends with benefits.
What do you call a devil texting you? Travelers on the way. 😈🤣
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.
Think about you are so fucking high that you are walking to a lift and inside the lift are stairs. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
How can you tell a bow n' arrows scared?
He starts to quiver! ;)
Do you know what my favorite time of day is?
6:30, hands down.
Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...
Why can't you hear the Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because its pee is silent.
You really put the R in special.
What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.
What do you call two Chinese lesbians?
Two can't chew.
What do you call a man with a Johnny on his nose? Fuck nose.
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
You ever try sexting with AI? Every time I type “I’m coming,” it replies, “Coming where? Need directions?”
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple 'thank you' is all I need.
Not all this 'How did you get in my house?' business.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.