You jokes
An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.
What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."
Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"
Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.
So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.
When you donate a kidney, you are a total hero, everyone loves you.
When you donate five kidneys though, people start yelling, the police gets called--sheesh!
tim
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
What do you call two Latinos playing baseball one on one?
What did the icicle say to the snow?
"Why do you have to be so soft?"
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
My teacher asked what was the worst time you got paddled by your parents. My one friend said that he got in trouble and got whacked by a stick. I raised my hand and said that my dad whacked me with his dick.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Have you heard about the smart traveler? He's clearly going places.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!