You jokes

If you play the movie "Jaws" in reverse, it's a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people.

Are you a highway? Because I wanna lay on you.

Bully: I wasn't talking to you.

Me: Then why are you listening?

Little Johnny walks into the living room and asks his parents, "Mom, Dad, what do you get when you crossbreed a bulldog and shih tzu?"

The mother and father shrug and say, "We have no idea, Johnny. What do you get?" and little Johnny replies, "You get a bullshit."

You're so ugly that when you were born, your mother asked, "How does my little treasure look?", and the doctor replied, "I think we should bury it immediately."

Your forehead is so big, you could roast meat on it.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.

I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

You know what, I'm done. We are banning "your mom" jokes. They're old, weird, and have been done thousands of times. Just like your mom.

I was gonna tell you a dead baby joke, but I decided to abort it.

1+1=3

If you don't use a condom.

These jokes are a little too explosive, if you ask me.

What do you call the closest plant to the sun? The hot ball.

Roast

You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!

Papyrus: Sans! I heard that a HUMAN has fallen!

Sans: And you gotta bone to pick with 'em?

Pro tip kids, you CAN hit an orphan because they can't cry to their parents!

There was a kid being mean to another kid at an orphanage. The kid said, "Stop!" but the mean one said, "What are you going to do? Call your mommy?"

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

You could say Kobe's career went up in smoke.

Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.