You jokes

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

How do you cut your grass without a lawn mower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

Where do you buy cows in bulk?

At the stock market.

Two balls sit inside a bucket. One turned to another and said, "Hey man, boing, are you sentient, too?"

The other one said, "I’m sapient, you are sentient!"

BOINGZINGA!?!

Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.

You should never leave a man hanging.

Unless they are still alive.

How do you say "nose" in Spanish?

hmm.... No sé.

What do you call an orphan taking a family photo? A selfie.

Do you know what my favorite time of day is?

6:30, hands down.

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.

When are you from Delaware? You know!!! 📦

Have you heard about the new cereal?

It's called "Prostituties."

They don't snap, crackle, or pop, but they sure do bang!

Let's get this right. What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg, but you can't beat...

RIP boiled water.

You will be mist.

Yes, you are the one who can get it, and what time do I have?

How do you make a handkerchief dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.

One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."

The other asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"

How do you make people mad? You use the wrong category. It makes them go red.

I have 206 bones, but when I see you, I have 207.