What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-
Grand Theft Otter!
You Jokes
I mean I'd tell you a joke about the pizza I ate, but it's just too cheesy.
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
What do you call a guy that's high in a wheelchair?
A baked potato.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
How to decorate a wall:
Strip off the paper and original plaster.
Put on fresh plaster and wallpaper.
Paint it (if you want).
Send a bill to North America and wait patiently for a reply.
A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.
"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"
And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.
"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"
And so he did.
