You jokes
What do you call a German that can not see?
A Not-see.
Did you hear? There is a new toy for boys ages 2-10. It's called Jackson. A tiny white doll, with black Jackson. Get it while supplies last.
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
How do you torture an autistic dude? Start a staring contest.
Memes
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
Calling you an idiot would be an insult to stupid people. You're much worse than that.
What do you call a crazy lesbian?
Fruit Loops.
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One turns to the other and says, "I think I've lost my electron."
The other asks, "Are you sure?"
"Yes," the first says, "I'm positive!"
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.
You should never leave a man hanging.
Unless they are still alive.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Roses are red, violets are fine, you'll be the 6 and I'll be the 9.
What do babies and explosives have in common?
They both make a noise when you throw them.
My friend says, "You should try Oreos with water."
Me: No, because my dad actually came back with the milf.
"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.