You jokes
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Memes
How do you keep a bull from charging?
You take its credit card away.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
What do you call a pissed off midget?
A micro-aggression.
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
What's the difference between a Doberman Pinscher and a Social Worker?
Eventually, you can get a baby back from a Doberman Pinscher.
Your mum, your dad, The things you never had.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
What do you call a room full of disabled people with epilepsy?
A seizure salad.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
If you thought an inner-city black boy cannot transform into a deranged pale Karen... well, just look at Michael Jackson.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
What’s the difference between a bank vault and you aunt's anus?
The owner of bank vaults don’t force you to penetrate it.