You jokes
Why can’t you give an orphan homework?
Because they don’t have a home to do it in.
What do you call cheese that's not yours?
Nacho cheese!
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Your mum is so smart, but she still can’t figure out why she had you.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
I wrote a passage to stop about bullying, and it was easy. Do you know why?
Because I am a bully!
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
"Bippidy boppidy boo! Bill Cosby is coming for you!"
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
If it sinks it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s boy-ant (buoyant).
A cheetah and a lion are racing.
The cheetah wins.
The lion says, "You a cheetah!"
The cheetah replies, "Nah, you a lion!"
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Grandma.
Grandma who?
I didn't know you could yodel!
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
What did the drunk woman say to the man after leaving the bar?
"Alcohol, you later!"
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.