You jokes

At school, this gurl was like, "You're ugly!" And I'm like, "Gurl, your mirror cracks the moment you step in front of it."

Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

What do you call a group of emo kids?

The suicide squad.

Q: What season can an orphan see their family tree?

A: Fall.

If you don't get it, in the fall trees have no leaves, there [are] just empty branches, like an orphan's tree.

Whenever you wanna roast an orphan, say "yo mamma".

What do you call sad coffee... deppresso!

You're so ugly you scared the crap out of the toilet!

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?

A: Depends how hard you throw them.

How do you get a baby into a small bowl?

A blender.

How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.

What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?

At least you don’t die when you shower.

One day, little Johnny and little Susan were in bible class. Little Susan had been tired that day, so she kept falling asleep. The teacher said to little Susan, "Who is our Lord and Savior?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a push pin, and she yelled, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher goes, "That's right, go back to bed." Then, the next thing the teacher asked was, "Who gave up their son for our sins?" Little Johnny poked her again, and she yelled, "God Almighty!" The teacher says, "That's right, go back to bed." The next question the teacher asked was, "What did Adam say to Eve after their 13th child?" Little Johnny poked her in the butt again. She yelled, "If you stick that thing in me again, I am going to break it in half and shove it up your own ass and see how you like it!"

What do you call an otter video game that is about robbing?-

Grand Theft Otter!

What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".

My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"

Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?

Do you need an ark?

Because I Noah guy!

You are all going to be pun-ished!

You want to hear a 9/11 joke?

I bet they did too!