You Jokes

Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?

We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.

Then: You want free candy?

Now: You want free Wi-Fi?

Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"

Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"

God says, "You are what you are."

Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."

I’d make a rape joke, but I don't wanna force that on you too.

What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.

Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.

Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.

"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"

"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."

When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.

The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.

After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."

"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"

What do you call a blind and illiterate military leader?

Winston Churchill.

Her: "Land of the free".

Me: *fat*

Her: What do you mean?

Me: It's not fat-free.

The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

"It's not a war crime if you win the war."

- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

"You may not rest, there are monsters nearby."

-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.

When you play Flappy Bird in 9/11, the bird is a plane and the obstacle courses are towers.

Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?

Yeah, it went on and on.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair?

TIMMAHHHH!