You jokes
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!
Officer: You OK, kid?
Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.
Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*
When officer leaves:
Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
Are you a playground? Because I want to put my kids in you.
What do you call a blind German shepherd?
A Nazi.
School Rizz:
You are my exam. I am always thinking about you but never making a move.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
You want a joke? My entire existence.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It don't matter what you call it, 'cause it ain't gonna come to you.
What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
What do you call a Russian pharmacist?
"Ivan Astichestykov."
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!