I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, "They're right behind you!"
You Jokes
"White people can't jump..."
"You must not have seen the Twin Towers on 9/11."
Did you know Paul Walker had dandruff?
Neither did I until I found his Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
How do you know a woman is blind?
Because she can’t see the kitchen or the laundry.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought someone else was ugly, but then I saw you.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Trying to find a good parking spot is a lot like trying to find a girlfriend.
If you can’t find one, you stick it in the disabled spot and hope nobody finds out.
How do you tell whether you’ve satisfied a redhead?
She unlocks the handcuffs.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Are you a haunted house? Because I’m going to scream when I’m in you! 😫
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What do you call a group of black men hanging from a tree?
Alabama wind chimes.
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
