You jokes
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altar boy.
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.
Doctor: I have bad news and really bad news.
Patient: What's the bad news?
Doctor: You have 24 hours to live.
Patient: What's the really bad news?
Doctor: I forgot to tell you yesterday.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
What can you give a white person that you can't give to a black person?
A black eye.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap til' their parents get home.
Did you know if you give a guy a plane ticket, he flies once, but if you push him out of a plane, he flies for the rest of his life.
What do you call a guy from India calling you?
A scammer.
How do you cure a ginger?
Chemotherapy.
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
What do you call a letter using the bathroom?
The P.