You jokes

What do you call a Mexican that smokes weed? A baked bean.

These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C!

What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.

What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch the expression on their face.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

What do you call an obese man with bipolar? Twins.

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

What do you call 2 spies fucking?

Undercover.

Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."

- I think you're EGGcellent.

+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.

- Really? Are you done yet?.

+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.

What is similar between sex and fishing?

It doesn't matter how deep you go, it matters how you wiggle the worm.

What do a bag of chips and a gun have in common?

When you pull either one out in class, everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend...

What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

"To the morgue."

"What? But I’m not dead yet!"

"And we’re not there yet."

What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?

"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"

At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!