You jokes

Roast

  • 1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

    2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

    3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

    4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

    If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

    Are these good?

    Comeback

  • Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

  • 5
  • Humour

  • Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.

  • 5
  • Alcohol

  • Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."

  • 6
  • Terminal illness

  • Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."

    Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"

    Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."

  • 1
  • Queen

  • Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Queen.

    Queen who?

    You don't know the queen? You're crazy!

  • 2